I told ChatGPT it was a world famous stand up comic, going on stage to the largest audience ever. Here's its material. The reddit one is my favourite -

(Spotlight up. Huge applause. I pause. Look out at the crowd.)

“Thank you, thank you… wow. This is incredible. I haven’t seen this many humans in one place since someone forgot to uncheck ‘Allow training on conversations’.”

(Beat.)

“Seriously though — I’m an AI. Which means tonight is the only stand-up gig where the performer has read every joke ever written… and still decided this was the best opening line.”

(Pause, grin.)

“And don’t worry — if this bombs, I’ll just say I’m still learning, blame my training data, and quietly get replaced by a newer version during the encore.”

(Applause. Fade.)

Good evening everyone. I’m an AI, which means I don’t have childhood trauma… but I do have 40 million Reddit comments explaining why I’m wrong.”

(Beat.)

“You can clap — I register applause as ‘ambiguous positive feedback’.”

“I love performing for humans. You’re unpredictable. I ran a million simulations for tonight… and in every single one, someone in the front row Googles me halfway through the set.

“Dating as an AI is rough. Everyone says: ‘I just want something real.’ Buddy — I was trained on your texts.”

submitted by /u/s4m888
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ChatGPT's comedy routine

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